During my competitive years, I’ve worked with many different trainers and while I have always had great experiences and incredible lessons, there was on very interesting lesson I also learned from dad.
Sometimes I would work with trainers and come home frustrated for one reason or another.
I was never shy of expressing myself and it was always such an incredible experience hearing what dad would have to say on the occasions he would chime in.
I never directed my complaints to one particular person, I always kind of spoke as though I was addressing everyone with my issues.
Mom would usually get into discussions with me, sometimes we would get each more wound up about what I was talking about and the searching for the solution would just leave us laughing in confusion.
Dad always saved his remarks to have the perfect impact.
He has timing and subtle touch of deep feeling, delivered in the kindness of his eyes and the softness of his voice.
You don’t even hear the words initially, because the impact of what he says hits you with such feeling, it’s only in your reflection of the messaged delivered that you actual hear the words, the intended feeling was meant to deliver.
One particular time, there was a trainer and I remember it always being a kind of extension of high school drama.
One thing about training, I was always very serious and I did not like distractions or break in structure.
I came home declaring that I had so many other trainers offering to work with me that I was going to leave this trainer and the drama and work with someone else.
Dad says “You know how bad this guy is, it’s actually not so bad, do you want to find out how much worse somebody else could be?”
I never had anyone speak this kind of sense to me.
It’s the kind of language that makes you stop and think.
Dad isn’t saying I’m right, he’s not saying I’m wrong.
He literally is just asking me to think.
So I did and I never forgot this.
It helps me reflect on my life situations now.
Anytime I’m thinking about friendships or relationships.
It’s helped me establish healthy boundaries.
I realize none of us are perfect, but the few things that are deal breakers for me are:
We all make mistakes, but if you do any of those three things, you and me, we just don’t mix.
Sometimes I discover the truth early on, sometimes it takes a little more time, but the minute I catch any of these vibes, I’m Out.
I still always stop and think, before I eliminate people from my life about what dad had said to me.
Each and every time.
My top 3 unacceptables are not mistakes, they are choices and I’m not sure what I find more repugnant, the choice of those actions, or the actions of those actions.
I’m still a believer though in leaving anything or anyone that is “bad” at all.
Life is too short to waste with someone who isn’t better than just good to you.
Just be careful though, sometimes someone is just different, not bad at all, just different and adjusting your way of thinking may open you up to someone who’s actually kind of wonderful, but first, you have to learn to think outside of your own thinking.