I may bitch and moan about my family and my parents time to time, but it is only in the comfort and sanctity of those I trust dearly, sometimes regretfully trusting the wrong people, but that’s life and just another lesson.
Truth is, we can complain and disagree without being disrespectful.
Respect isn’t about being all accepting 100%. It’s also about how you hold yourself and how you manage your emotions, respectfully of others, always.
I have gotten numerous responses since starting my new blog about how much people are grateful for and value the respect I express for my father, for my family. It never occurred to me that anyone would really pick up on this, it never really occurred to me that I expressed this as much as I do, but when I write, it comes from a flow and that flow is created by the feelings created by the people I love and the people who have taught me to value more, the people actually worth loving and trusting.
The more I encounter new people, the more I value the real people in my life. The realization of frightening the reality we actually live in makes me reflect, more deeply about the ways in which I was raised and the true wealth of what respect is.
I was talking to someone last week and about the whole idea of respect and how it’s become a lost commodity. It’s as though meeting someone who embodies well rounded respect is the anomaly and it’s ok that the rest of the world is full of self indulgent, narcissistic slobs. Perhaps this is just a more in-depth reflection of the unrealistic, realism which have become.
I’m not perfect by any means, but I am honest. I won’t say it if I don’t mean it and I am action, not talk. I can be a pain in the ass, I even annoy myself sometimes, but I am always honest. I am either all in or all out, I’m not about that fair weather bullshit.
My father always said to me, from the beginning of time “forget what they say, watch what they do, then you know who your friends really are”. I am one of those people who loves people. I love making new friends, but 1 out of 100 are actually friends. Dad always also said “if you don’t mean it, then don’t say it, cause remember the feeling you had when the person you thought was your friend let you down, do you want to be the kind of person that makes people feel the way they do?”. My father never made promises, he seemed to be a quiet man, but the things he does for us never stop, never end and they are lifetime lessons that translate differently for every stage of our lives.
The past several years have been an eye opening extravaganza of misfits, losers, clowns, frauds, narcissist, ego maniacs and phonies. People, project this bizarre idea of themselves, because they are so ashamed of themselves. I have witnessed grown men, still living at home speak to their mothers in ways that have made me want to beat them up. I have witnessed “friends” smile in my face and then eventually, not even behind my back, smirk, while struggling to maintain their composure and eye contact, thinking I am reading their smirk as a smile. I have experienced grown men still taking money from their parents to pretend they are the ones paying for dinner and those same grown men sitting, with their arms folded under the table when the bill comes, trying to look blank, but actually screaming “I am not paying the bill” or straight up having the indignity of announcing “I don’t have any money” and instead of going home, they try and tag along, hoping that you’ll be picking up the tab. I still experience people who think they can manipulate the world, the way a 6 year old manipulates their parents. People saying one thing to my face and before their gaze has fully turn away, capturing the truth in their energy. People who constantly announce their opinions and approvals about things they were never asked about. There is a distinct, distinction between a compliment and someone acting as thought they are giving you their very important stamp… It’s subtle, but it hits you with this grossness in the pit of your belly, which eventually evolves into just feeling sorry for those who value themselves so much over others that they are actually missing out on discovering the magnitude of what they are capable being on their own.
I get that we all have different levels of perspectives, but this day and age of the narcissistic animal has really created a crippling of old school respect.
Sadly, I do feel that those who choose to not show respect, don’t respect themselves. If you don’t respect yourself, well, that’s where it all begins.
Perhaps we have become a society where parents spoiling their children with things, instead of nourishing their children with discipline has finally caught up with us. People have become so obsessed with wanting to be noticed for the attention from others, thinking that it is the same thing as respect.
Respect, once earned, will never be confused with attention again… I guess, if you’ve never actually earned the sweet taste of respect, you couldn’t understand the difference between the attention your arrogance seems to temporarily reward you with.
There is nothing more satisfying than the honesty of always demonstrating respect. It shows where you come from and reinforces the strength that makes you, you.
A message from my mother:
“How you treat others is a direct reflection of how you show you were raised. It shows how much you respect and love your family. Everything you do is reflection of how hard we’ve worked to be who we are, we aren’t perfect, but how you act is a reflection of who you are and where you come from. Don’t disgrace us.”
Mom was always had the ability to make sure she was heard… Although I have had my moments through time, I am grateful for the impact she has had on me, even if I do complain about her time to time.
And I am so happy that I have always been surrounded by greatness, even while caught up in the midst of madness.