We live in a society over-obsessed with the constant assignation of Labels. What I’ve always enjoyed most about myself is that I can’t be defined by any label and if you wanted to describe me and analyze me in manner associated with “the norm” you probably put me in a nuthouse, label me as stupid and diagnose me with ADHD.
Growing up I could never sit still and read a book. In school they assign you one book that the curriculum thinks is important for everyone to read, but the problem with this approach is that everyone is different.
As an adult I can’t remember names for anything, but I have a computer like efficiency for remembering facts and incidences that stem from triggering a particular feeling in me. If I don’t “feel” you, I just don’t have any capacity for remembering you, it’s just that simple. I reverse numbers all the time and if I’m staying at a hotel I need to bring a permanent marker with me to write down my room number on the key, or I will have the front desk hating me for the number of times I have to ask what room I’m in.
I never enjoyed watching movies or television that much and I realized as an adult it was the sitting still that my body does not like. As a child I couldn’t stay still, as an adult I can’t stay still, but as an adult who had parents who engaged her inability to stay still with constant activities I learned that I just need to stay more physically active than most to have a happy mind.
Books always fascinated me, but I could never sit still and just read one at a time. I find that I become curiously absorbed in particular subjects at different times and that I need to read between 3-7 books at a time to stay engaged, interested and neurotically nourished. I keep a notepad with me all the time to make sure I take notes of things I don’t fully grasp at the moment, so I can lose myself in reflection when I feel like swimming through the ideas of past thought.
I like getting scrappy. The physical ability to throw, brawl and be thrown and banged up a bit is a kind of energy that nourishes me. I never feel more whole than when I’m getting roughed up a bit, it’s such a magnificent release, I can’t even explain the joyful exuberance I feel when I land with a bang, when I toss someone in the air, when I take that shot I didn’t see coming or when I just stay open for blows, just allowing myself movement to slip away, instead of blocking. More than ever, I love the bumps and bruises, they are my make-up my battle wounds and the tenderness of my temporary marking make me feel proud, happy and strong in a different kind of way. I like to call this part of me, my Inner Hulk. I even feel like I turn into the big green guy in the midst of my scrappy madness.
Then, I get into phases where my learning turns more inward and I lose myself in the gym, at the school and in my teaching and studying at the school and I just go into this world of mine where I don’t really care to engage with others much, because I am going through a cocoon phase and my funny mother always gets worried and tells me my alone time isn’t healthy. I appreciate the love and concern, because this is a necessary kind of nourishment we all need, but I’m happier in my own space sometimes and it’s even better when I have someone who vibes in the same way I do where “my space” becomes “our space” and even in silence our synergies create an interesting energy which nourishes the “cocoon state” in a different way, but I do always find that staying connected to myself requires the time I need in my own cocoon and that’s because it’s what I need.
This is my norm… Which brings me to, what is Normal to you?
Normal, the way it is imposed on society does not tolerate differences, although society tends to praise the magnificence of those defiant enough to be “Their Kind of Normal”, this is only usually recognized without recognizing how hard society had made it for people to embrace “Their Kind of Normal”.
This whole label of Normal has created an unhealthy facade of people actually trying to “act” fabulously normal, while pretending they are unblemished ideas of perfection. It’s unnerving, uncomfortable and artificial in a way that really does cause a normal chain reaction from people who are sensitive to this kind of bullshit. This brings me to people and especially children born with sensitivities, the people who naturally react to toxic energy and have no inhibitions as far as holding back honesty and are then diagnosed and placed on prescriptions.
Heads meds are prescribed like skittles and it is incredibly alarming that a society so filled with phony bullshit artists, which creates this cloud of toxic energy which in turn causes reactions from those who are pure of heart and then says the ones who are pure of heart need to be placed on meds. Society needs to be held responsible for the illnesses they cause and label as “Health Conditions”. In so many instances it isn’t the person who needs medication, it’s society that needs to be put in it’s place and getting society to take responsibility starts with each and every one of us. How we think, how we project, how we show consideration, how we listen, how we take action. It is all of our responsibility, especially when it comes to creating a healthy environment for our children. Children belong to us all and we need to know that our actions effect all of our children always, because our individual actions are what create societal norms.
Nobody hears the same thing the same way. Nobody experiences the same thing the same way. However society wants to create a bizarre standard that says “Normal” should be the same and if you are society’s standard of normal, then you need to be put on meds. The biggest problem is, we have a society of phony people with hidden agendas and actual Mental Illnesses redefining what normal should be.
I have never allowed society to define who I am.
My family has never tried to define who I am.
When I ramble ideas and thought off to my father and sometimes finish with saying “wow, I sound nuts” he answers with “well, I am crazy”.
I am strange as they come, but I love deeply because of this. I care deeply because of this.
I have suffered judgements and gossip and have been the victim of so many attempted manipulations, because those “Normal” people out there who wear that mask are always looking for abnormal people to take advantage of, they think we are stupid.
So for those of you who have suffered being abnormal, good for you. Cause in this world of “Normal” I wouldn’t change Me to be anything like the “Norm” at all.
Remember, those who follow the Masses… Take away the Mask of the letter “M” and what do you get?
Be you. You were made an original and you are absolutely magnificent.
For those of you who are suffering emotionally, take a good look around you. Chances are, you might not be surrounding yourself with the right people. When you have the right friends you never feel badly about yourself, they won’t stand for it. If you feel you can’t be your authentic self around your friends, either you need new friends or you really need to love, learn, trust and accept how uniquely wonderful you are, starting with your weirdest quality, love that about yourself and be proud for it making you unique.
When people truly care they listen… It’s the people who don’t even understand themselves who are the ones who love to act like holy vessels of advice, because they know everything and living in this way protects them from the judgement they are so terrified of, because life is real and not everyone can handle real.