There is no higher form of intelligence than our feelings.
We are built, wired into our feelings and the power of feelings also come from the ability to connect to what other people try not show or what it is that other people actually really mean. Feelings never lie, but vocabulary along with punctuations and altered physical expressions have become smoke screens people think they can use to manipulate the honesty of others. You’ll never find that a liar seeks out a liar, although birds of feather tend to flock together. Liars, manipulators, schemers and the dreaded narcissist always play on the weakness of those who are honest, by trying to “act” honest, in the face of those who are actually honest.
I was talking to a girlfriend today and she mentioned how it always makes her feel so dumb for not immediately understanding the dishonesty meant by the intended manipulations of feelings once her feelings reflect them to her later, once she is removed from the toxic person. I shared her sentiments and then I realized, “No, we should be grateful that we can’t always catch people of such toxic natures in their steps, because it is a gift to be nothing like them”. This is why we are also prey to those who are narcissistic, selfish, greedy and simply, just mean, it is because they are actually cowards who exhaust our empathetic natures, knowing we won’t lash out at them, so they feel safe playing their games with us. Once we see these people for who they are, we can just decide not to play.
When I get pulled away from teaching too much, I get emotionally confused by the dishonesty around me more. The more I learn myself, the more I realize that toxic people really are the masses and this is what makes genuine people so precious. Teaching always resets my Emotional Content (T. Pitt, if you are reading this, thank you for the brain food last week and I miss that you are not at the school more regularly. T. Otterness misses you too and I just gave him your contact info. ).
Emotional Content is the highest for of intelligence there is. Staying connected to your Emotional Content will always expose the Intended Content of someone else’s odd usage of words, timing of bullshit and tantrums when they don’t get what they want from you, the way they want. These are people who are Competitive, but not Competitors.
Competitors are upfront and play by the rules.
People who are competitive, smile to your face while they grimace behind your back and you can feel it in their presence, but if your nature isn’t wired the same way they are, you choose to believe the “niceness” your eyes see, even though your heart senses otherwise. There is nothing meaner or nastier than those who are capable of actually feigning the “niceness”. You can never have an experience that they can listen to, they have to say the same thing happened to them too, or make it seem that way. They are genuinely mean spirited, but will compliment things with a smile that they know are disagreeable to you. Because if they smile and say something nice, they think you can’t see the evil in the eyes that just can’t quite maintain contact. They confuse you with the act of friendship, but you can feel the undertone of the gestures and pay attention to when the opportunity to actually gesture in the right way happens, but they actually will just display a little more greed. The signs are always there, but in instances where I have allowed my intellect to override my feelings, I always wished I listened to my feelings 5 times ago.
This is where Tai Chi Chuan and the art of Competition are the greatest truth serums and having experience in both and grown-up doing both, I am hard-wired to feeling, but like we all do, I make myself my own victim of my own “intellect”.
The best part of working in a family business that teaches Tai Chi Chuan is that I am really always surrounded by sincere goodness.
People who walk through our doors are interested in self improvement, by the means of improving themselves and working on themselves honestly, not working anyone else for their own gain. I think this is also why I have had the ability to preserve my naiveté in a world obsessed with greed, scheming, manipulation and gas lighting, aside from the fact that I was raised to truly understand the wealth of generosity and I have experienced the true richness of goodness too. Although I do have the gift of torment or gab (depending on how you know and feel about me), I always do more than I say and I prefer to give and taking actually always makes me uncomfortable.
These are some of my best lessons I’ve learned from studying Tai Chi and my Tai Chi family has always reinforced the precious gift of sincerity and shown that true generosity can come only from the heart, because if it comes from anywhere else, you know it, because you can feel it.
When you actually love, you give because love is a giving feeling.